Playing violent video games may not make children physically violent but reading harsh film reviews of horrible video game adaptations might have that effect on filmmakers.
Perhaps you heard a while back that Uwe Boll, director of universally-panned video game films House of the Dead, Alone in the Dark and Bloodrayne had issued a challenge to his critics - a boxing match. Yep, in an industry first, an auteur is endeavoring to beat some artistic appreciation into his detractors.
"Put up or shut up!" said Boll in a press release last June. "I'm fed up with people slamming my films on the Internet without seeing them. Many journalists make value judgments on my films based on the opinions of one or two thousand Internet voices. Half of those opinions come from people who've never watched my films."
The release stated that Boll would fly five of his most outspoken critics to Vancouver where they would be given the chance to strap on boxing gloves and step into the ring with Boll himself to argue the merits of his movies for 10 rounds. The matches would be filmed and included in his next video game film, Postal.
This story was widely reported and, while there was much amusement over the concept, no one really thought Boll would follow through on the offer.
Well, it appears the much-maligned filmmaker wasn't kidding. Digital Trends called our attention to an announcement by Vancouver online casino Golden Palace that they will be sponsoring the event. Whimsically titled Raging Boll, the event will take place on September 23rd and feature such notables as Cine Cutre critic Carlos Palencia Jimenez-Arguello (whose fight will take place in Malaga, Spain earlier in the month), Something Awful's Richard "Lowtax" Kyanka, Ain't It Cool News writer Jeff Sneider, Rue Morgue's Chris Alexander, and critic Nelson Chance Minter.
"This event is perfect for us," said GoldenPalace.com CEO Richard Rowe. "We receive so many outlandish offers for advertising exposure that it is refreshing to see something that surprises even us. That is why we decided to get involved. This has gotten so much attention so far, and we can't wait to see how it will turn out."
While the matches themselves have been reduced to three rounds each, Boll maintains that the offer is still on the table and additional challengers are welcome.
Are you a healthy male between 64 and 86 kg? Do you want to inflict as much pain on Uwe Boll as his movies have inflicted on you and, more importantly, have you said so in a review? If so, let Boll know that you'd like to smack him one and maybe we'll see you in Postal the Movie!
-Reporting from San Diego, GP Correspondent Andrew Eisen has a mean left hook but has never seen one of Uwe Boll's films